The Foolishness of Eulogies – Part 2


If you’ve read my previous post on this subject, you know that I have learned to tell people how I feel about them while I can. Not putting off until later when there might be “a better time”. From that perspective, I came to the conclusion that eulogies were foolish. But I have always tried to maintain an open mind on things. Which is a good thing.

A good thing especially in light of the fact I unexpectedly lost my best friend last week. I am oh so glad she knew how much I loved her. How much I admired her. How much she has enriched my life. She was my friend, my mentor, the big sister I never had, my partner in explorations both temporal and intellectual. My poor husband couldn’t figure out how we could spend as much time together as we did and yet still be able to talk on the phone each evening for never less than half an hour, often for well over an hour. In many ways we were kindred spirits who were just so relieved and happy to find someone else who valued what we did, loved life and the wonders around us as much as we did, who got it.

I thought eulogies were foolish but I’ve had a change of heart. I am driven to speak of her to others. To let others know what a wonderful, wise, kind, giving, loving, gentle soul we have lost. If they didn’t know her, to let them know what a treasure they missed. If they did know her, to enlighten them as to the additional dimensions of her they probably missed.

JoyAnna Singer was a woman who had the kindest heart in the world. A person who had gone through many trials and tribulations. A person who often was less than totally confident and who was very aware of her weaknesses and failures, yet was able to maintain an open and loving attitude to everyone around her. If you missed the chance to know her, you missed a true humane, human who was well worth the admiration and faith she inspired in me. If you knew her… I hope you know what we’ve lost and will miss her as much as I do. There is a huge hole in my life right now that hurts more than I could have imagined. But I am oh so very grateful to have had her in it because she enriched my life enormously. She helped me be a better person.

So I hereby change my stance on eulogies. They may not do the person who has passed any good, but those of us left behind need them. We need to be able to share our love and appreciation, vent our grief. Eulogies help us to move through our grief.

I sincerely hope that The Great Spirit, God, Allah, the Void, whatever you choose to call that Force in the Universe that is greater than ourselves, will grant her joy, serenity, peace, great rewards for the richness she gave the world in her own way. Have fun exploring, JoyAnna! The Motherducker will carry on and see to it that your ducks are cared for and that Miss 70% (Her favorite duck) has a safe, happy home for the rest of her quacked life!

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